Julia Stone

What is the psychology behind this behaviour?

The button in the photo is one of a set given to me – somewhat reluctantly – by my mother.  She’d been saving them for years, waiting for the right garment she could sew them onto. It was clear they were precious to her, although whether that was because she found them beautiful or there was a sentimental story attached to them, I don’t know.

She instructed me not to ‘waste’ them. I kept them safe and unused for over thirty years, until one day I realised there was no point stashing them unseen in a sewing box. I immediately sewed them onto a much-loved second-hand jacket which brings me pleasure each time I wear it.

Why do we keep things ‘best’, unused? Growing up in the 70s/80s many of us will recall our parents having a room which was only used when guests visited. It was a room ‘kept for best’. Are you treasuring any of the following?

• Best plates, glasses, tableware?
• Best clothes?
• Best stationary?
• Best perfume, cosmetics?
• Best shoes, boots?

Why do we do this?

Some believe it’s an inherent trait; we save and hoard items we might need in the future for fear of scarcity. But while that may apply to certain things related to survival – like food, practical clothing, or the means to keep warm – it is less apparent how this would apply to a pair of favourite leather boots, kept unworn in the wardrobe waiting for the appropriate occasion!

In summary, there are probably a number of subconscious reasons we set some possessions aside for best:

• They are ‘too good to waste’: we don’t want the item to run out or be ruined, preferring to treasure ‘having/owning’ above using.
• Keeping the item special: by rarely using it, it’s a treat when we do.
• It is ‘too good for daily use’: we’re waiting for the perfect occasion.
• Too much emotional or sentimental attachment to the object: a desire to treasure the object and keep it safe.

We each have our own personal reasons for keeping things for best. But I think it would be better to enjoy these saved objects NOW. Maybe we should all follow the recommendation of the Ikea adverts and embrace ‘the wonderful everyday’!

In other news:

During February it was great to meet the Friends of Coggeshall Library when I was interviewed by the editor Katy Greenwood in front of an audience who had braved a very wet evening to join us. The following weekend saw me in Brightlingsea, where I led my 4^th Writing for Wellbeing workshop (with a few familiar faces) during part of their annual WinterFest. The last two writing-related events in February were in my capacity as Author-in-Residence at Sudbury Arts – a workshop on the Psychology of Character and the monthly meet up of the local writing group.

March is a little quieter which, in theory, allows me to continue working on my 4^th novel… I will be joining some fabulous Essex authors on Sunday 8^th March at Kelvedon Institute where we will be selling our books. Do pop in if you’re in the area. And my art work will be in two exhibitions – The Weight of Waiting at The House of Smalls in Edinburgh; and Letter in Mind’s Spring Forward at Gallery Different in London.

The topic of this newsletter is prompted by my latest tech problem with my laptop, which is now, for all practical purposes, kaput. While I can still use it as a typewriter and – thankfully – the early chapters of my next novel are still held in its memory bank, it is refusing to communicate with the outside world. (And, yes, I’ve tried turning it on and off again!)

Internet searches and email are still possible on my mobile, but it’s surprising how many times while writing I want to research information or look something up. What does lugubrious actually mean? How is an acre of land priced and what influences its value? What are the names of the different sails on a yacht?

Of course, there are workarounds. I can work on my laptop, save it to a memory stick and take it to my partner’s laptop to email or print. But this forces me to slow down. To think about what I need to do, what I can actually do and to prioritise. And it has made me realise yet again how much we depend on technology in our daily lives, and how complicated things become when it doesn’t work and we are incapable of fixing it.

And maybe I am using this as an excuse for not being further ahead with Novel 4…The first draft currently stands at 22,000 words, so just another 75% to write! Then it will be many rounds of editing. It’s another suspense novel with a mature female psychotherapist as the protagonist. So, if you enjoyed my previous books, hopefully you can look out for this one in due course. I’ll keep you updated on progress and share some excerpts over the coming months.

In other news, here’s my update on writerly events in the coming weeks.

• Meet the Author event at Coggeshall Library, 10^th February, 6.30pm to 9pm. Tickets from venue.
• Writing for Wellbeing at Brightlingsea Museum. 15^th February, 1pm to 3pm.
• ‘Crafting Characters’ Workshop for novelists at Sudbury Arts, 21^st February, 1pm to 3pm. Tickets from Sudbury Arts.
• Novelists Writing Group at Sudbury Arts, 28^th February, 1pm to 2.30pm. Closed group, no places left.

Photo by Mizanur Rahman

To paraphrase the words of John Lennon: another year over, a new one about to begin. (Okay, I admit it doesn’t scan as well!) As we all know from the ‘round robin’ news summaries in Christmas cards, this is typically a time to review the past twelve months and think about the year to come. Research from positive psychology suggests this can be good for mental health, particularly if we focus on the good experiences and achievements of the past year, and our constructive plans for the future.

For example, looking back you may think about the times when you:

• felt particularly happy
• were kind to others
• showed love
• got so absorbed in a project or idea that time flashed past (you were ‘in flow’ in psychological terms)
• took a risk or were particularly brave/courageous
• learnt something new
• achieved something you’re proud of.

For me, some highlights were my volunteer work at Sudbury Arts Centre, having fun with friends at the immersive performance of Grease, feeling the support of writing buddies and all those who came to my book launch, sharing the joy my partner takes in refurbing his old tractor, making art works and taking part in the Mortal and Strong exhibition at Waterloo, finding out I can do aerobics, learning to say ‘no’ when things get too much.

Looking forward to the coming year, many people focus on new year’s resolutions – and just as many break them within the first month! Research suggests that it takes an average of around two months to change a habitual behaviour, for some people less, others longer. The key is repetition.  If you do want to break a long-standing habit or start a new more positive behaviour, the best way to make it stick is to plan now. If you want to stop a behaviour, what will you put in its place? Identify the triggers and think about how to avoid them. How will handle the temptation to fall back on the familiar? Don’t let a minor set-back put you off. Notice your small successes.

My own goal is to stop getting distracted by other interesting projects and get my fourth novel completed and edited. I’m currently 10,000 words in, so watch this space!

Wishing you all the best for the coming year.

The benefits of recognition over recall

The image above was generated by AI. I have to say, it would be a pretty unfair line up if the guilty party was the woman bottom left or the man top right.

A recent article in The Psychologist magazine prompted me to focus this mailing on suspect identification, a topic of relevance to my recent novel The Expert Witness. Those of us who aren’t involved with law enforcement would probably draw on films and TV programmes to conjure an image of a police line up or book of mugshots. But psychologists researching the process have developed a new approach which is showing remarkable success. This process relies on recognition rather than recall. So what’s the difference?

Recall is a harder process as the brain needs to search for the information. For example, remembering the name of a minor character in a book you read several months ago; or dragging up facts you learnt years ago in school for a quiz question.  

Recognition requires less work as external prompts are available to remind us. For example, hearing lyrics of a song can cue us to remember the title or tune; a multiple choice question can remind us of the correct factual answer.

In terms of suspect recognition, psychologists found that by removing the extremities of a face from the image – the ears, neck and hair – eyewitnesses were able to focus on the features and face shape. The eye area was particularly useful for recall. They manipulated images of the face from thinner through to fuller; made the mouth/eyes relatively expressionless or slightly smiling; adapted ‘femininity/masculinity’, age and overall healthiness.

This enabled witnesses to pick out a likeness of the person they believe they saw. When the chosen images were released to the public, police found improved results: more people recognised the person and were able to provide a name for the suspect who could then be brought in for questioning.

If you’re interested, more information can be found here: https://evofit.co.uk/how-it-works/

and here https://www.bps.org.uk/psychologist/co-evolving-new-way-catch-criminals

November is upon us. Some focus on the bleakness of the season: the seemingly long drag through the cold and wet before Spring arrives. Others enjoy country walks, kicking through autumn leaves, or lean in to the excuse to hibernate: to stay home in the warm rather than brave the dark evenings, maybe cuddle up with a book and a mug of hot chocolate.

For writers November can mean a period of focused effort, as this is the traditional time for National Novel Writing Month (known as NaNoWriMo). Stephen King recommended that writers commit to 1,000 words a day, every day of the year. Quite a challenge with today’s busy lives! But the concept of  NaNoWriMO is to focus on daily writing for one month only, with an aim of producing a rough draft of your story by the end of November. It’s a great way to get the ideas out of your head and onto paper, albeit in a very rough unedited form.

I’ll be facilitating a group of writers at Sudbury Arts Centre to help them get the best part of a first draft of their novels written during November. And I’ll be focusing on my next psychological suspense alongside them – working title ‘The Next Move’. No plot spoilers, but those of you who’ve read my previous books may recognise the protagonist as she embarks on a new phase of her life…

Updates on progress next month!

Photo by Vitaliy Shevchenko on Unsplash

This is the third post which briefly summarises one of the tricks our memories play, inspired by my latest novel THE EXPERT WITNESS.

Doubled exposed images were common in the days when we had to be manually wind on the film between taking each photo. The 2^nd image used to be superimposed on the 1^st creating a blurred combined photo.

The same process of overlaying can happen with memories.

Have you ever reminisced about an event with someone else who had been there?  It can be surprising to find how different your recall can be. You were both there and lived the same experience, but one of you remembers differently to the other – about who else was present, when the event happened, who said or did what. In discussion you explore different angles, maybe you try to imagine it playing out how they describe. Next time you recall the event you may have adapted the original, borrowing some of the other person’s version inadvertently.

And, unless there is corroborating evidence – a third party, a video or photo, a diary entry – it’s impossible to know which version is ‘correct’.

Without realising we blend our memories, adding and revising each time we revisit a past experience; subconsciously editing to make the story into a coherent narrative which fits with our beliefs about the past, the people, the place, etc.

Think you can trust your own memories? Think again!

News on upcoming events for readers, writers and those interested in mental wellbeing

October is going to be a busy month. Aside from popping in for informal chats with the members of Acton Book Club and Sudbury Writing Group, I’m also to be found at a number of book-related events.

If you’re in the area join me on the following dates:

• 10^th October 2025 – CityLit, London where I will take part in a panel discussion on loss and identity.
  https://www.citylit.ac.uk/when-life-changes-so-do-we-loss-and-the-shaping-of-identity
  
• 12^th October 2025 – Sudbury Arts Centre, Suffolk, join me for a workshop on Writing for Wellbeing.
  https://sudburyartscentre.com/event/writing-for-wellbeing-workshop-2/
  
• 17^th October 2025 – Suffolk Literary Luncheon at Hintlesham Hall a chance to meet Suffolk-based authors and find our more about a fabulous charity Suffolk Dance Days. Tickets on Eventbrite.
  
• 18^th October 2025 – Meet the Author with other writers of Essex at Kelvedon Labour Club 10am – 3pm.

This mid-month mail out is for two reasons:

Firstly, to thank those of you who were able to join me to celebrate the (slightly belated) launch of The Expert Witness at The Strand last week. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did.

Secondly, to highlight two events I’m involved in, both of which are happening this coming weekend.

Saturday, 13^th September 2025 – There’s a meet the authors and book sale event at Kelvedon Labour Club from 10am to 3pm.  The address is 74 High Street, CO5 9AE.

Sunday, 14^th September 2025  – I’m running a ‘Writing for Wellbeing’ workshop at Sudbury Arts Centre from 1pm to 3pm.  You can find more information and book a place here https://www.ticketsource.co.uk/sudburyartscentre/t-yarenxq

At the book launch last week, guests had the opportunity to complete a simple character profile. Working with personality profiles has been part of my day job as a psychologist – they are frequently used to help with selection, personal development and team building. And I’ve found them incredibly helpful for my novel writing too.

Once I have the outline idea for a story, I create a personality profile for my main characters before I start writing. Dr Amanda Dunstan in The Expert Witness has the ‘INTJ’ preference – she is an introvert who values knowledge and competence, sets high standards for herself and others, and can be highly sceptical. While far from a scientific sample at the book launch party, it was interesting to see that this personality profile was shared by only one person at the event. Research in the US suggests that the INTJ profile is found in about 2% of the population – and is even rarer in women.

If you find personality profiling interesting, the simple exercise I used was based on Myers Briggs Type Indicator and more information about the questionnaire and your four letter preference code can easily be found online or in this post here on my website.

Finally, for those of you who are new to my readers club, I usually send an email once a month with news on upcoming events, musings on writing/books and occasional psychological insights. So, I’ll be in touch again at the end of September. ‘Til then!

My latest psychological suspense novel – THE EXPERT WITNESS – was published 14^th July 2025. The story delves into the mind and experiences of an expert in memory, as she tries to atone for an event in her past – an event she’s elected to forget.

For the next few month’s my posts will briefly summarises a few of the tricks our memories play. Here’s the first.

TRICKS OF MEMORY #1 Filling gaps

Our brains like things to make sense and will ‘helpfully’ interpret and fill in the gaps using prior experience and information gleaned from all the senses. This allows us to understand the partial words in the accompanying photo, and to see a white triangle on the image even though it has an incomplete outline. To make sense of the world, the brain looks for patterns and makes assumptions. Without this talent it would be hard to operate in the world.

But this ability to fill in gaps can have an impact on our memories. Not everyone interprets a shared experience in the same way. We each interpret events in line with our self-perception, beliefs, past experience, culture, etc. This can lead to our brains misinterpreting what we heard or saw: filling gaps, imagining things that didn’t happen, or overlooking aspects if they don’t fit with expectations. When we form a memory, recall an event, or recount a past experience to others, we edit and add in order to create a cohesive narrative. We like to tell ourselves (and others) a story that makes sense, changing our recall to fit.

Think you can trust your own memories? Think again.

If you are interested in purchasing THE EXPERT WITNESS you can buy it here

Before I sign off for this month, I’m thrilled to share that I’m now the Author in Residence at Sudbury Arts Centre, where I will be organising a range of events for readers and writers over the coming months. If you’re interested in finding out more details of the schedule, do sign up to receive emails from the venue here https://sudburyartscentre.com/

If you’d like to continue to receive emails with insights into books, psychology and writing-related themes, let’s stay in touch. You can also follow me on Instagram @Julia.Stone.Writer and Facebook @JuliaStoneWriter

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Welcome to new readers and hallo again to those who’ve been signed up for some time. It’s been a while since I’ve been in touch, because I’ve been focused on two exciting writing-related projects:

• Creating my third psychological suspense novel – The Expert Witness – to be published this month; and
• My new role as Author in Residence at Sudbury Arts Centre, where I recently hosted the first Anglian Authors Book Fair for readers and writers.

If you enjoyed my first two novels, Her Little Secret and the Accident, you can pre-order the Kindle version of The Expert Witness here now , or buy the paperback from 14^th July, 2025 when the book is published.

So what’s the book about?

The lead character, Dr Amanda Dunstan, is an expert in memory. She specialises in researching witness testimony and its interpretation in a court of law; an occasion when accurate recall of what happened is vital.

Many people belief that our memories are a good reflection of events,  but this isn’t always the case. Our recall can be corrupted by many things. For example:

• We may misinterpret our experience – like mishearing a song lyric or what was said;  or
• After speaking to someone, we may adopt their version of events, assuming their recall is better than our own; or
• We can overlay one memory with another, combining two unrelated events into one new memory that never actually happened.

Despite being an expert in memory, my lead character, Amanda, has the same flaws in her recall as everyone else. When a friend from her past reappears, she is forced to confront a memory she’d chosen to forget  – an incident with life-changing consequences for her friend. Driven by her need to atone for her past behaviour, Amanda moves into a world far removed from her middle-class existence, ultimately breaking the laws she previously upheld in order to help her friend. But whose memory can she trust?

If you’d like to continue to receive emails with insights into books, psychology and writing-related themes, let’s stay in touch. You can also follow me on Instagram: Julia.Stone.Writer and Facebook: JuliaStoneWriter

If you no longer want to receive these emails, sorry to see you go, but just unsubscribe.