Julia Stone

And what was your response?

Photo by Icons8 Team on Unsplash

In psychology, frustration is seen as the emotional response to a goal or want being blocked or delayed. Our stress hormones rise and result in a flight or fight response.

Over the past couple of weeks, I have felt more frustrated than usual and I thought it would be useful to look at the psychology behind this emotion. My frustrations are largely caused by my current situation – having to do everything one-handed due to a broken wrist. While many of you will have had this experience yourselves, I hadn’t realised how debilitating it can be. Yesterday afternoon the list of frustrations included the following things I physically couldn’t do: put a sheet of paper in a plastic wallet; change the ink cartridge in my printer; unscrew a lid; open a parcel; unplug my mobile from the charger. All minor in themselves but I could feel my tension and hopelessness rising.

There have also been the frustrations we all face: waiting to hear about appointments; trying to master a new piece of tech or equipment that isn’t intuitive; incompetent administration meaning you receive incorrect paperwork… The minor niggles of day-to-day life.  

So, frustration can be caused by many different things. In summary, they cluster into two types.

• External factors in the world around us – a long wait in a queue; being kept on hold for hours; coned off roads with no sign of road workers; a colleague who doesn’t pull their weight; an unreliable friend who has let us down again. OR
• Internal factors linked to our own abilities, thoughts, beliefs or behaviours – not being able to open a childproof cap; feeling we should be able to master something quicker than is reasonable; conflicting desires like wanting to go out to the cinema but not wanting to drive at night; telling ourselves we should be better, stronger, richer; self-talk that reiterates our belief that ‘this isn’t fair’. 

These situations can lead to flashes of anger, often turned outwards and aimed at a person or thing that was not the cause of the frustration – the plate thrown at the wall; the driver in front of us hooted; the partner shouted at. This is called displacement in psychology. These anger responses may be hard to control in the moment. The key is to notice the feeling of frustration as it builds and identify the real trigger, then work out how to address the cause before the explosion of temper.

Alternatively, we may direct our frustration at ourselves. Over time this can lower self-esteem and cause us to doubt our capabilities. Try to notice when you are using should or must statements. Be compassionate to yourself. Remember an unsuccessful attempt doesn’t make you a failure, treat the setback as learning for how to approach things next time. Be aware of small successes.

What’s coming up

I’m running a series of Introductory Novel Writing Workshops – For Aspiring Novelists designed for anyone starting their fiction-writing journey. Attend individual sessions for £10 each. Places are limited to 12, so advance booking is recommended.

For more information and to book your place visit https://sudburyartscentre.com/event/writing-workshop-becoming-a-writer-copy/

29 August 2026, 1.00–2.30pm – Becoming a Writer

19 September 2026, 1.00–2.30pm – Finding Your Story

10 October 2026, 1.00–2.30pm – Getting to Know Your Characters

14 November 2026, 1.00–2.30pm – Working with Dialogue

12 December 2026, 1.00–2.30pm – Building Your World

16 January 2027, 1.00–2.30pm – Beta Readers and Competitions

And on 27^th September 2026 we’re holding our next Anglian Authors Book Fair at Sudbury Arts Centre. 20 authors, book sales, talks and signings, coffee and cake. Free entry. Come and join us! 

And finally

If you wish to unsubscribe, I’ll be sorry to see you go but please reply with UNSUBSCRIBE in the subject line and I’ll remove you from the distribution list.

It’s more complicated than you may think!

Photo by Bruno Martin on Unsplash

If you’re working on a book or are just curious about how books get published, this newsletter provides a brief summary. It’s currently top of mind for me as I recently finished editing my fourth psychological suspense and now need to think about the path I want to explore to get the book published.

There are broadly five choices:

1. Traditional publishing (through a literary agent)

If you’re aiming for a traditional publishing deal, your first step is to find a literary agent. In most cases, you can’t submit your manuscript directly to the major publishers – an agent will represent you and submit it to them on your behalf. If you’re successful, your book is more likely to be stocked in major bookshops like Waterstones, found in libraries, and reviewed by the press.

There are five major publishing houses and they have many ‘imprints’. (You can see a useful overview here: https://www.9thstreetbooks.com/big-five-publishers-and-imprints/.)

2. Independent publishers

Many independent publishers accept submissions directly from authors, so you don’t need an agent. These publishers often specialise in particular genres, such as crime, romance or science fiction, and are a great option if your work fits their catalogue. These books are often sold in independent bookshops.

3. Self-publishing

With self-publishing, you take charge of the whole publishing process. That means organising—and paying for—services such as editing, cover design, typesetting and printing if you can’t do it yourself.

Self-published books are commonly sold through Amazon or directly by the author, and some local independent bookshops are happy to stock books by local writers.

4. Hybrid publishing

Hybrid publishing sits somewhere between traditional and self-publishing. The author pays for some aspects of the production process, such as editing or typesetting, while the publisher manages publication and takes an agreed share of the book’s sales.

Because the publisher has a commercial interest in the book, they will usually assess submissions to ensure they meet their quality standards. Hybrid-published books are often sold through Amazon, directly by the author, and sometimes through supportive local independent bookshops.

5. Vanity publishing

Vanity publishing is different from hybrid publishing. Here, the author pays the publisher to produce the book, often covering most or all of the costs. These services are frequently chosen by authors who want a professionally produced book for personal reasons, such as sharing with family or friends, rather than for wider commercial distribution.

Photo by Gurth Branamall on Unsplash

Each publishing route has its own pros and cons. The main differences are usually the cost, how quickly your book reaches readers, and how much control you have over decisions such as the title, cover design and marketing.

• Self-publishing is generally the fastest option and gives you complete creative control. However, professional services such as editing, proofreading and typesetting can cost several thousand pounds if you need to hire specialists. The upside is that, once your costs are covered, all profits from book sales are yours.
• Traditional publishing is usually the slowest route because there are several stages involved—from finding an agent to securing a publishing deal and finally seeing your book in print. You also have less control over decisions such as the cover, title and publication schedule. However, the publisher covers the production costs and provides professional support throughout the process.

If you would like a copy of my chart giving more details and the pros/cons of each approach, contact me via Facebook or Instagram by searching for Julia Stone writer.

A round up of last month

This week I was thrilled to hear that I was one of three winners of the I Am Writing non-fiction prize, for my proposal Aunt Muriel’s Legacy – a book about my inheritance of 79 kilos of costume jewellery! The prize is a chance to chat with an agent and hear her feedback and thoughts on my ideas.

Earlier in June Great Dunmow became one huge bookshop with authors in venues across the town. Me and five East Anglian crime/suspense writers were based in the local hotel and had a great day meeting readers.

And finally

If you enjoy the crime genre this is a really interesting newsletter from Dead East, the Anglian Authors Crime Collective. https://deadeast.substack.com/p/dead-east-june-2026

Is it just optimism?

This month I’ve been thinking about the meaning of ‘hope’.

People often think of hope as a fairly passive thing, no more than an optimistic state of mind: we hope an interview goes well when we apply for a job, we hope it doesn’t rain on the day of a major outdoor event. Sometimes hope is no more than a throw-away line, offered with little thought – ‘hope you are well / had a good holiday / like the gift…’. If we do take action, it’s in a superstitious way: making a secret wish as we blow out the candles, crossing our fingers for luck to be doubly sure. Hoping that by not treading on cracks the devils will stay sleeping and nothing bad will happen.  

But when you look at the dictionary definitions it implies something more active. As a noun, it is a confident desire for something; as a verb, it means to look forward to with anticipation. Hope is an optimistic state of mind, desire, or expectation that positive outcomes will occur, even in difficult circumstances. The opposite to hope is despair, doubt and pessimism. Hope helps people to manage stress, deal with set backs and persevere when things are tough. To misquote the saying: the pessimist sees the glass as half empty, the optimist sees it as half full while the hopeful person believes there might be more in the bottle!

When I studied for my psychotherapy qualifications, it was a surprise to find that psychologist define hope as a more active process of ‘goal directed motivation’. ‘Hope Theory’ suggests that hope is not just an emotion but also requires thought about possible pathways, and the willpower to get there. In summary, psychologists think there should be a goal you desire and believe is achievable, ideas on possible ways to achieve it and the willpower to do so.

Currently I remain hopeful. This month I had the exciting news that my third novel, ‘The Expert Witness’, has been short-listed for the Noose Award for Best Crime/Thriller Novel. Obviously, I hope to win, just as I’m sure the other three short-listed authors do. The winner will be announced at the Sykehouse Film and Writers Festival Gala Awards dinner on 17^th May 2026. Hopefully, I will have some good news to announce next month, but if not, I will toast the winner and enjoy the celebrations!

Coming Up Next Month

Aside from the daytime Ska Disco in Colchester for which I’m digging out my two-tone outfit, there are some great writing events in my diary.

Sunday, 10^th May 2026 I’m running the next Writing Workshop at Sudbury Arts Centre. This one’s on Planning Your Novel. Limited places so if you’re interested book your ticket now.

Saturday, 16^th May 2026 There’s the next meeting of the writing group at Sudbury Arts.

Sunday, 31^st May 2026, 10am to 3pm sees the third Anglian Authors Book Fair at Sudbury Arts Centre. Free entry to meet 18 Anglian authors, listen to panel discussions and readings and buy books.

Creating believable characters in books and films

As a psychologist, my work has often involved looking at people’s behaviour.

When I work in companies I might be asked to work with a team that’s not functioning well. I may observe the behaviours within the team: how people communicate and with whom; whether there’s cooperation or competition; what helps the team pull together and what systems are causing behaviours that lead to friction.

In my psychotherapy practice, people often come to me wanting to change their unhelpful habits and behaviours. Part of the work is to explore other approaches they can try and to develop new strategies and ways of behaving. But what’s common to behaviours in both business and psychotherapy is the need to understand why. What is driving the behaviour? How does the situation itself contribute? What beliefs does the person have about the situation and any other people involved? What values do they hold that lead them to act in certain ways?

To take some examples, if I believe people are basically good, I am more likely to treat a mistake as just that and work with the person to resolve it. If I believe people who are late are disrespectful then I am more likely to get annoyed when a friend constantly arrives after the time that we agreed to meet. If I believe I deserve a reward when I’ve worked hard all day, then that glass of wine feels justified.

The next question to consider is how these beliefs, values and mindsets arose. Where did they come from – is it down to experience in the current context or did these mindsets come from the past – an event, a caregiver, the environment the person grew up in? This is what I explore with my clients in order to get to the heart of the issue and not just deal with the surface behaviours.

In a fictional world, in order for characters in a novel or film to feel realistic, the writer needs to know the same information: what is driving them? What do they want? What do they believe about the world? And most importantly, where do these beliefs come from? Authors and scriptwriters convey this through describing –

• what the character does (behaviours);
• why they do this (values and beliefs);
• what they think and believe (dialogue and thoughts); and
• what happened to them to make them who they are (backstory).

In other news

This month I’m running a workshop at Sudbury Arts Centre on ‘How books get published’ designed for writers and curious readers. It’s on Saturday, 11^th April 2026 from 1pm to 3pm. Tickets are £10 and are available from https://sudburyartscentre.com/whats-on/

 We will cover the paths to traditional publishing, including:

• Agents, editors and their roles;
• The process of finding and pitching to a literary agent, including guidance on how;
• The pros and cons of traditional publishing versus self-publishing/hybrid.

Hope to see you there.

And finally, this month I’ve read:

What is the psychology behind this behaviour?

The button in the photo is one of a set given to me – somewhat reluctantly – by my mother.  She’d been saving them for years, waiting for the right garment she could sew them onto. It was clear they were precious to her, although whether that was because she found them beautiful or there was a sentimental story attached to them, I don’t know.

She instructed me not to ‘waste’ them. I kept them safe and unused for over thirty years, until one day I realised there was no point stashing them unseen in a sewing box. I immediately sewed them onto a much-loved second-hand jacket which brings me pleasure each time I wear it.

Why do we keep things ‘best’, unused? Growing up in the 70s/80s many of us will recall our parents having a room which was only used when guests visited. It was a room ‘kept for best’. Are you treasuring any of the following?

• Best plates, glasses, tableware?
• Best clothes?
• Best stationary?
• Best perfume, cosmetics?
• Best shoes, boots?

Why do we do this?

Some believe it’s an inherent trait; we save and hoard items we might need in the future for fear of scarcity. But while that may apply to certain things related to survival – like food, practical clothing, or the means to keep warm – it is less apparent how this would apply to a pair of favourite leather boots, kept unworn in the wardrobe waiting for the appropriate occasion!

In summary, there are probably a number of subconscious reasons we set some possessions aside for best:

• They are ‘too good to waste’: we don’t want the item to run out or be ruined, preferring to treasure ‘having/owning’ above using.
• Keeping the item special: by rarely using it, it’s a treat when we do.
• It is ‘too good for daily use’: we’re waiting for the perfect occasion.
• Too much emotional or sentimental attachment to the object: a desire to treasure the object and keep it safe.

We each have our own personal reasons for keeping things for best. But I think it would be better to enjoy these saved objects NOW. Maybe we should all follow the recommendation of the Ikea adverts and embrace ‘the wonderful everyday’!

In other news:

During February it was great to meet the Friends of Coggeshall Library when I was interviewed by the editor Katy Greenwood in front of an audience who had braved a very wet evening to join us. The following weekend saw me in Brightlingsea, where I led my 4^th Writing for Wellbeing workshop (with a few familiar faces) during part of their annual WinterFest. The last two writing-related events in February were in my capacity as Author-in-Residence at Sudbury Arts – a workshop on the Psychology of Character and the monthly meet up of the local writing group.

March is a little quieter which, in theory, allows me to continue working on my 4^th novel… I will be joining some fabulous Essex authors on Sunday, 8^th March 2026 at Kelvedon Institute where we will be selling our books. Do pop in if you’re in the area. And my art work will be in two exhibitions – The Weight of Waiting at The House of Smalls in Edinburgh; and Letter in Mind’s Spring Forward at Gallery Different in London.

The topic of this newsletter is prompted by my latest tech problem with my laptop, which is now, for all practical purposes, kaput. While I can still use it as a typewriter and – thankfully – the early chapters of my next novel are still held in its memory bank, it is refusing to communicate with the outside world. (And, yes, I’ve tried turning it on and off again!)

Internet searches and email are still possible on my mobile, but it’s surprising how many times while writing I want to research information or look something up. What does lugubrious actually mean? How is an acre of land priced and what influences its value? What are the names of the different sails on a yacht?

Of course, there are workarounds. I can work on my laptop, save it to a memory stick and take it to my partner’s laptop to email or print. But this forces me to slow down. To think about what I need to do, what I can actually do and to prioritise. And it has made me realise yet again how much we depend on technology in our daily lives, and how complicated things become when it doesn’t work and we are incapable of fixing it.

And maybe I am using this as an excuse for not being further ahead with Novel 4…The first draft currently stands at 22,000 words, so just another 75% to write! Then it will be many rounds of editing. It’s another suspense novel with a mature female psychotherapist as the protagonist. So, if you enjoyed my previous books, hopefully you can look out for this one in due course. I’ll keep you updated on progress and share some excerpts over the coming months.

In other news, here’s my update on writerly events in the coming weeks.

• Meet the Author event at Coggeshall Library on 10^th February 2026 from 6.30pm to 9pm. Tickets from venue.
• Writing for Wellbeing at Brightlingsea Museum on 15^th February 2026 from 1pm to 3pm.
• ‘Crafting Characters’ Workshop for novelists at Sudbury Arts on 21^st February 2026 from 1pm to 3pm. Tickets from Sudbury Arts.
• Novelists Writing Group at Sudbury Arts on 28^th February 2026 from 1pm to 2.30pm. Closed group, no places left.

Photo by Mizanur Rahman

To paraphrase the words of John Lennon: another year over, a new one about to begin. (Okay, I admit it doesn’t scan as well!) As we all know from the ‘round robin’ news summaries in Christmas cards, this is typically a time to review the past twelve months and think about the year to come. Research from positive psychology suggests this can be good for mental health, particularly if we focus on the good experiences and achievements of the past year, and our constructive plans for the future.

For example, looking back you may think about the times when you:

• felt particularly happy
• were kind to others
• showed love
• got so absorbed in a project or idea that time flashed past (you were ‘in flow’ in psychological terms)
• took a risk or were particularly brave/courageous
• learnt something new
• achieved something you’re proud of.

For me, some highlights were my volunteer work at Sudbury Arts Centre, having fun with friends at the immersive performance of Grease, feeling the support of writing buddies and all those who came to my book launch, sharing the joy my partner takes in refurbing his old tractor, making art works and taking part in the Mortal and Strong exhibition at Waterloo, finding out I can do aerobics, learning to say ‘no’ when things get too much.

Looking forward to the coming year, many people focus on new year’s resolutions – and just as many break them within the first month! Research suggests that it takes an average of around two months to change a habitual behaviour, for some people less, others longer. The key is repetition.  If you do want to break a long-standing habit or start a new more positive behaviour, the best way to make it stick is to plan now. If you want to stop a behaviour, what will you put in its place? Identify the triggers and think about how to avoid them. How will handle the temptation to fall back on the familiar? Don’t let a minor set-back put you off. Notice your small successes.

My own goal is to stop getting distracted by other interesting projects and get my fourth novel completed and edited. I’m currently 10,000 words in, so watch this space!

Wishing you all the best for the coming year.

The benefits of recognition over recall

The image above was generated by AI. I have to say, it would be a pretty unfair line up if the guilty party was the woman bottom left or the man top right.

A recent article in The Psychologist magazine prompted me to focus this mailing on suspect identification, a topic of relevance to my recent novel The Expert Witness. Those of us who aren’t involved with law enforcement would probably draw on films and TV programmes to conjure an image of a police line up or book of mugshots. But psychologists researching the process have developed a new approach which is showing remarkable success. This process relies on recognition rather than recall. So what’s the difference?

Recall is a harder process as the brain needs to search for the information. For example, remembering the name of a minor character in a book you read several months ago; or dragging up facts you learnt years ago in school for a quiz question.  

Recognition requires less work as external prompts are available to remind us. For example, hearing lyrics of a song can cue us to remember the title or tune; a multiple choice question can remind us of the correct factual answer.

In terms of suspect recognition, psychologists found that by removing the extremities of a face from the image – the ears, neck and hair – eyewitnesses were able to focus on the features and face shape. The eye area was particularly useful for recall. They manipulated images of the face from thinner through to fuller; made the mouth/eyes relatively expressionless or slightly smiling; adapted ‘femininity/masculinity’, age and overall healthiness.

This enabled witnesses to pick out a likeness of the person they believe they saw. When the chosen images were released to the public, police found improved results: more people recognised the person and were able to provide a name for the suspect who could then be brought in for questioning.

If you’re interested, more information can be found here: https://evofit.co.uk/how-it-works/

and here https://www.bps.org.uk/psychologist/co-evolving-new-way-catch-criminals

November is upon us. Some focus on the bleakness of the season: the seemingly long drag through the cold and wet before Spring arrives. Others enjoy country walks, kicking through autumn leaves, or lean in to the excuse to hibernate: to stay home in the warm rather than brave the dark evenings, maybe cuddle up with a book and a mug of hot chocolate.

For writers November can mean a period of focused effort, as this is the traditional time for National Novel Writing Month (known as NaNoWriMo). Stephen King recommended that writers commit to 1,000 words a day, every day of the year. Quite a challenge with today’s busy lives! But the concept of  NaNoWriMO is to focus on daily writing for one month only, with an aim of producing a rough draft of your story by the end of November. It’s a great way to get the ideas out of your head and onto paper, albeit in a very rough unedited form.

I’ll be facilitating a group of writers at Sudbury Arts Centre to help them get the best part of a first draft of their novels written during November. And I’ll be focusing on my next psychological suspense alongside them – working title ‘The Next Move’. No plot spoilers, but those of you who’ve read my previous books may recognise the protagonist as she embarks on a new phase of her life…

Updates on progress next month!

Photo by Vitaliy Shevchenko on Unsplash

This is the third post which briefly summarises one of the tricks our memories play, inspired by my latest novel THE EXPERT WITNESS.

Doubled exposed images were common in the days when we had to be manually wind on the film between taking each photo. The 2^nd image used to be superimposed on the 1^st creating a blurred combined photo.

The same process of overlaying can happen with memories.

Have you ever reminisced about an event with someone else who had been there?  It can be surprising to find how different your recall can be. You were both there and lived the same experience, but one of you remembers differently to the other – about who else was present, when the event happened, who said or did what. In discussion you explore different angles, maybe you try to imagine it playing out how they describe. Next time you recall the event you may have adapted the original, borrowing some of the other person’s version inadvertently.

And, unless there is corroborating evidence – a third party, a video or photo, a diary entry – it’s impossible to know which version is ‘correct’.

Without realising we blend our memories, adding and revising each time we revisit a past experience; subconsciously editing to make the story into a coherent narrative which fits with our beliefs about the past, the people, the place, etc.

Think you can trust your own memories? Think again!

News on upcoming events for readers, writers and those interested in mental wellbeing

October is going to be a busy month. Aside from popping in for informal chats with the members of Acton Book Club and Sudbury Writing Group, I’m also to be found at a number of book-related events.

If you’re in the area join me on the following dates:

• 10^th October 2025 – CityLit, London where I will take part in a panel discussion on loss and identity.
  https://www.citylit.ac.uk/when-life-changes-so-do-we-loss-and-the-shaping-of-identity
  
• 12^th October 2025 – Sudbury Arts Centre, Suffolk, join me for a workshop on Writing for Wellbeing.
  https://sudburyartscentre.com/event/writing-for-wellbeing-workshop-2/
  
• 17^th October 2025 – Suffolk Literary Luncheon at Hintlesham Hall a chance to meet Suffolk-based authors and find our more about a fabulous charity Suffolk Dance Days. Tickets on Eventbrite.
  
• 18^th October 2025 – Meet the Author with other writers of Essex at Kelvedon Labour Club 10am – 3pm.